This sure is a busy time of year
After the fireworks of fizz and bangs
And funny to think the week before that
It was all just skellies and fangs.
But now as Guy Fawkes is forgotten again
And Christmas brings forth the heaving shelves
Lapland News reports that Father Christmas has
A threatened strike by Elves.
They’re saying that Amazon pays much more
And the DPD courier drops
Are so much easier from warehouse and van
Than from a sledge across snowy rooftops
And none of the yearly scraps with the cats
Who wait up just to take the mick
Sure, no mince pies nor sherry neither,
Brought back by Father Nick.
So, they say, they’re hanging up
Their livery of red and green
Because what is the point of hours of graft
When children now just want a screen.
They’ve discussed with the Reindeer
Who said, ‘We agree,
We’ll demand rate of inflation plus 50%
And then sit back and wait to see…’
And children themselves they just sit in the warm
Fixated on swipe after swipe on their phone
As the magic unfolds their eyes do grow glazed
And the magic of Santa was never known
While Santa himself burns the midnight oil
On strikes, NI hike, can he carry on anymore,
How long will it be before a ‘For Sale’ sign appears
On his once industrious workshop door?
© AEMWR 2024